Thursday 25 February 2010

Belief in Allah

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakattuh.

Im going to take a short break from the home sweet home posts ive been doing. Partly because im a little depressed about the whole kawin thing. Long story short.... lain kali saja lah. Instead, its islamic week (or the end of islamic week) in canterbury kent uni and ive been going to a few lectures about islam. Its really opened my mind to some of the issues regarding Allah the Almighty, the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W and being a good muslim.

What does it mean to be a good muslim? Rukun Islam and Rukun Iman is a good start. Always keep good morals. Do what our parents tell us to do except for syirik (setting up partners to Allah). But i think i can take it back to just one simple thing, belief in Allah the one and only creator. It is all fine and dandy to say that you are a muslim, but when push comes to shove, you need to ask yourself honestly, how much do you believe in Allah. Now I know this is a very sensitive question but this is all necessary to see how good we are as muslims. So to start, and show im not being hypocritical or anything, im going to tell you how I was a couple of years ago. Not even years maybe banarnya.

Ive been praying since my parents went on Haji when I was waiting for my O levels to come out. I have to admit, partly because I wanted good results, but also because I wanted my parents to come home safely. I think, to the best of my knowledge, I have not missed a prayer since that day when my parents left. Of course ive missed the time to pray but ive always made them up. This was especially the case in Maktab Duli as id kumpul all my prayers and do them sudah ku balik dari sekolah. Sekolah for me at that time was for dating and going to gadong. May Allah forgive me for my stupidity when I was younger. For subuh prayers, only a few months ago I started waking up to pray them properly. Lagi talur.

So if I were to count the years ive been praying, it will come up to 8 years. But when I think to myself, how many of those years did I have complete faith and confidence in Allah. I think it would have to be zero. See, being born a muslim, I take things for granted. Sembahyang because that is what a muslim is suppose to do. Puasa, bagi zakat, naik haji, all because a good muslim is suppose to do these things. But this defeats the purpose of being a muslim. We dont do it because everyone else does it and we feel obliged to do it, we do it because of our love for Allah. Not for reward, not for fear of being punished, simply and plainly for the love of our creator. Im not saying that fear and reward should not be used as a starting point, because nobody can go from being a zero to the best muslim in the world. We start to do these things we are told to avoid the hellfire and enter paradise. But as we grow older, learn more and live life, we suddenly sadar how much Allah has granted us (blessed us with) and asked for nothing in return but for us to worship him and only him. Why ask for anything else from our creator? Why must we expect a reward for everything we do when we have already been granted the best blessing we could ever be given, and that is life.

I saw alhamdullilah to all of the muslims who are trying to better themselves. There is no greater way (I think, forgive my bluntness) to please Allah than to sacrifice the joys of the dunia in order to strive to become a better muslim. What upsets me though is the muslims who take everything for granted. This is why is said we need to ask ourselves how much we believe in Allah.

If we believe in our creator, why do we continue to disobey his orders. Why do we continue begatal gatal, where clothes which shows off body parts, blatantly fornicate which each other.. not just in private tapi in public jua! Im not saying i havent done these things because unfortunately I have. It just shows that my faith was not that strong. So why do we do these things? Maybe we do not believe in Allah. Maybe we live and then we die without being held accountable for the things we have done. Maybe Charles Darwin was right and we all did evolve from monkeys. (Funny story here, i type theory of evolution in google to find out darwins first name and the wiki page comes up. It doesnt say THEORY of evolution though. Just evolution. Sitahu jua si wiki ani, tarus tarus kan shout out to the world that evolution is not a theory)

So how do we prove to ourselves that Allah exists? We can just say to ourselves that we believe but those are just the words of the ignorant. A good muslim has a duty to find the answers to these questions as you cant just follow anything blindly. So where are the answers to these questions. That is the Al-Quran. The holy book which contains the words of Allah sent down to the Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Im not sure which ayat and I apologize for just quoting blindly without giving you the verse number but there is an ayat in the Al-Quran which states that (and im paraphrasing here) 'the signs of Allah are all around you. All you have to do is look at the sun, the moon, the stars the sky and the seas and these are all the signs given to you.' (It would also help kalau ada orang with the actual ayat here, apologies again) Allah has also said to the disbelievers of the Al-Quran that if you disbelieve in what has been brought down to you, then go and create something like the Al-Quran (again, paraphrasing because im not sure of the full ayat).

I know my explanation wont be the most convincing one made to a non-believer or one with little faith, and I blame that on my ignorance. But basically the point here is that there is nobody who can make something anything close to the magnificence of the Al-Quran. Not even the smartest person in the world. Let alone when we consider the fact that the prophet (may peace be upon him) was unable to read or write. He was neither a poet or a scholar and yet he brought with him the the Al-Quran. So how can you deny this truth? Its in the Al-Quran that its words are protected and have never been altered. It has been memorized and passed down for almost 1500 years without ever changing. This is fact. It says so in the Al-Quran and you cannot deny this. The only thing which has changed after 1500 years is the narrations from the Al-Quran. This is why we have different understandings and different practices around the globe. As the Al-Quran is the most perfect form of literary work, there is of course different understandings of it.

What is important though is to almost keep the basics close to our heart. Believe in Allah. Believe in what he has granted us and that is the Al-Quran and the practices of Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. Know that there is no doubt of the existence of Allah our creator. If you still doubt, then read the Al-Quran and understand it. We have been given a brain to think. Use it. Learn something which is important in life. Maths will only get you a scholarship to again pursue more useless knowledge. We could die tomorrow without ever knowing the true bliss of being a good muslim. This is why we need to strive to better ourselves. Learn from the Prophet, may peace be upon him. We have been left his sunnah to learn from. Why continue to deny this when everyday we come closer to the only certainty in life (Death btw).

Ok sorry to go on forever. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Subahannallah.

Alhamdullillah.

Allahuakbar.

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Monday 22 February 2010

Part 3 - Home Sweet Home

Assalamualaikum

Again sorry for the delay in writing part 3. I was in Manchester for the whole week and had little time to write anything. Main farmville saja.

Ok so I have talked about what to look for in a husband and what to look for in a wife. Ada one question about if there is any proof saying why a man should have good moral conduct and good religious background. I cant really find anything specific in my notes about why your future husband should have these qualities, but there are tons of verses from the Al-Quran and from the Prophet S.A.W sunnah that a man should have these qualities anyway. Everyone should strive to get these qualities to become a better muslim. Thats the best I can give you unfortunately.



COMPATIBILITY

So you have found the person who has the perfect qualities to become a spouse. Should you marry right there and then? Of course not. There are plenty of other things that you can discuss to make sure you are making the right decision. Are you compatible in terms of intellect, physical looks, financially, morally and psychologically? And of course are you compatible in terms of iman and spirituality? All of these things can be important in the future because your spouse will not only be your spouse in the dunia, but they will also be your spouse in the hereafter.

This is why picking a spouse is so important. Its not a decision you should take lightly. You should get to know the person you are going to marry before you actually marry the person. But this does not mean dating is halal. Dating is still very much haram. But there are plenty of ways to get to know a person without going into haram territory.

Taaruf, meeting each other via family and friends. As long as inda jumpa one on one saja. There are plenty of other ways jua masa ani with technology at the peak of the social mountain.... or something. Facebook, msn, hotmail bla bla bla. But when doing this you need to watch what you talk about. It is halal as long as what you are talking about it not something you will be embarrassed about if each of your parents or guardians tebaca it. This makes sure you arent talking about anything yang inda tantu tantu. Sorry I dont really have any proofs to back this up. This is actually my take on the whole situation but please feel free to post anything that you may not agree with or stuff you may want to add.


Now you've found yourself the perfect girl or guy. What next? Kawin. Alum. There is a 4 point method before you take the plunge.

1) Istishaarah (consulting others)

Asking people about the other persons background. Collecting information about what kind of person they are. Do your homework before making one of the most important decisions in your life

2) Istikhaarah

Imam an-Nawawi rahimahullah said "In this [the narration about the istikhaara of Zainab radi-allahu anha] is a recommendation to make istikhaarah for anyone who has any matter concering him, whether the goodness in the matter be clear or not. It may be that she made istikhaarah due to her fear that she might fall into some shortcoming in serving him (Prophet Muhammad S.A.W)"

3) Determination

After you do these 2 and if you get signs from the istikhaarah prayer, act accordingly with full faith that you are doing the right thing as you have received a sign from Allah.

4) Trust

Yah. Put your trust in Allah and dont hesitate. Alhamdullillah you have found your soul mate and are on the road to completion of your iman.


Thats all for now. Hopefully all of that made sense. Please leave comments and feedback. May Allah bless us and our future choices, or if kamu kawin sudah, may Allah bless your marriage and your future children. Amin

Ok. Assalamualaikum

Sunday 21 February 2010

assalamualaikum

update tomorrow. promise. I have an essay to finish before i can start with my next post

Monday 15 February 2010

Part 2- Home Sweet Home

PART 1 - CHOOSING A SPOUSE/PARTNER/WIFE/HUSBAND (cont)

The 4 conditions in looking for a wife


Assalamualaikum warrahamatullahi wabarakattuh

So here is the 2nd part of the first part, If you get what I mean. Hopefully the first part went down well and I was able to convey the lessons I was taught properly. Hopefully I did it justice. I also thought of something else a while ago, I think at the end of part 1, I will try and give my thoughts on everything and try and explain stuff the way I think it should be explained. But that will come sooner, not yet, as there is still quite abit to talk about. Moving on.

The big picture. The Ummah. The people of Islam and the true believers. These are made of nations. Nations made of communities. Communities made of families. The core of the family, the woman. The woman is the mother, daughter, aunt and the wife. They are the heart of the family which is why is it very important to find the best woman you can so you can have a happy family. This is why, every female, every girl and woman needs to work on there faith. They need to improve themselves as a muslim as they hold the responsibility not only to look after their family, but also their husband. Lets say a husband and a wife has 4 children. This just means that she has 5 children to look after. Its simple maths.

The Prophet Muhammad S.A.W said that

"A woman is married for 4 reasons. Her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her Iman. So choose the one with good practice of iman, may your hands be rubbed in dust"

So we can see here the 4 things we look for when looking for a mate.. or rather a wife. I say things and not conditions because these arent conditions to find a good wife. There is only 1 thing needed for a good wife. This is iman.

A nice thing to keep in mind. A wife with iman, you have 1 point. A wife who is also beautiful, add a zero to that and you have a 10. A wife who also has good lineage, a good family, add another zero and you have 100. A rich wife on top of all of this, 1000. But take away the iman and all you have is 3 zeroes. Whats most important? Iman. Iman. Iman.

Another note. Imam Ahmed rahimahullah said

' If a man seeks to get married, then he should ask about her beauty first. If she is beautiful, then he should ask regarding her deen (iman). If she is praised for her deen, then he can proceed and marry her. If she is not praised for her practise of deen, then his rejecting her will be on the basis of religion. He should not ask first about her deen and then her beauty. This is because he will then be rejecting her based on her beauty, and not religion.'


Beauty - You can look for a beautiful wife. But dont build your married life on beauty alone. Remember, Iman.

Lineage - Coming for a good family. One with good ancestors. This isnt good being famous or anything. Coming from a family who is regarded to have been a religious family and good iman.

Pleasure - Allahs Messenger S.A.W said "life is a form of pleasure, ad the best form of pleasure in this life is a righteous woman"

Treasure - Allahs Messenger S.A.W said "Have I not told you about the best treasure that a person possesses? The righteous woman: if he looks at her, she pleases him. If he asks her, she answers him and if he travels, she protects her chastity."

Fertility - Allahs Messenger S.A.W said "Marry the fertile and loving; verily, i am going to be boasting about your abundance among other nations on Judgement Day." (This means the number of muslims on the day of judgement. Good muslims come from good families. Good families come from good mothers)

Virgin - Self explanatory. HAHAHA.


Ok so basically, choose a future wife who has good iman. Pokoknya alim lah. Its important because a husband with good iman and a wife with good iman, this is the best start to starting a happy family.

Ok so atu saja for now. Unfortunately im going to be going to manchester for the whole week. Not going to be able to update for around 5-6 days so dont bother checking for a while. Please comment and share your thoughts and knowledge. That will be awesome. Its also late so I havent had chance to proof read. Apologies for any mistakes that I probably have made.

A proper run through when im done with the whole part, with my views and thoughts. Any questions made on the comments will also be done i guess, if there is any. Bah.

Assalamualaikum Warrahmatullahi Wabarakattuh.

Saturday 13 February 2010

Part 1 - Home Sweet Home

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh

First of all im going to start by trying to outline how im going to go about this. Reason it took me a while is because I cant really find out how I am going to do this most effectively.

The stuff that is taught may seem harsh, maybe to some a little old fashioned, but these are the teachings of the Al-Quran and Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Nowadays, sex and the like are all the rage. Divorce rates are sky high, unplanned pregnancies. All you have to do is look at the mall and realise that values have gone. Its because we think these teachings are old fashioned that we decide its ok to maybe leave out a few of the things which are vital to having a strong iman. A quote from one of my teachers in MD, times may change but religion will always be the same. Dont think that because we are getting more westernised we can just forget our religious values. ISLAM TEPAT ISLAM.

Ok so secondly, I want to thank the AlKauthar institute for organising a learning institution which is so refreshing in a time where we lose sight of what is really important in life.

Last but not least, a huge thanks to Sheikh Alaa Elsayed for an amazing lecture and talk. I thought I lost all motivation to study, but after the weekend I just realised ive just lost motivation to study law and other useless subjects. Its made me realise that there is still so much that I dont know about my religion and there is still so much I need to learn. A quote from Sheikh Alaa to start off

"The thing about knowledge is that the more you know, the more you realise you dont know"


Bah lets start. I apologize for any mistakes I may make in my conveying of the knowledge. May Allah forgive me for my mistakes and my sins and let me by sincere in trying to share what I have learned. Amin.


PART 1 - CHOOSING A SPOUSE/PARTNER/WIFE/HUSBAND

The 2 conditions in looking for a husband

Prophet Muhammad S.A.W advised us

"Choose carefully for your children. Marry the suitable and give in marriage to them."

1) Moral Conduct.

I think this is rather self explanatory. When a woman is choosing a partner, well banarnya husband, they should look for one who has moral conduct. One who is able to be sensitive and treat the woman with the respect she deserves whenever she needs. And we all know that women do need this, a guy who listens, a guy who is sensitive and a guy who shares his feelings. We dont need to look far for this, its always in the movies.

The prophet s.a.w also justifies this reasoning by saying that 'If one chooses a partner who does not possess moral conduct, they may not treat the woman with the sensitivity that she deserves'.

"Bad statements are for bad people [or bad women for bad men] ad bad people for bad statements [or bad men for bad women]. Good statements are for good people [or good women for good men] and good poeple for good statements [or good men for good women]. Such good people are innocent of every bad statement which they say. for them is forgiveness and Rizqun Karim (generous provisions. ie paradise) al-Noor 24:26


2) Religious Background

"The diffrence between the man and the state of disbelief and ascribing partners unto Allah is leaving the prayer" (narrated by Muslim)

Basically. Pick a husband who is alim and has faith. A good muslim.

Think about this, if a man forgets his duties towards Allah, do you think he is going to bother with his duties towards his wife. Maybe a month or two, but marriage is for the long run.


3) Other Factors

Appearance - Prophet Muhammad S.A.W recommends that a wife sees her husband first so that she can be content with his appearance.

Fertility- Well his ability to have children. Is this self explanatory? Im not sure.

Piety -1. reverence for God or devout fulfillment of religious obligations: a prayer full of piety.
2. the quality or state of being pious: saintly piety.
3. dutiful respect or regard for parents, homeland, etc.: filial piety.
4. a pious act, remark, belief, or the like: the pieties and sacrifices of an austere life.


Im not sure if this helps. This is going to be all for now as it is getting really really late. If you want to ask any questions please feel free and leave a comment. Maybe your comments will jog my memory into what Sheikh Alaa said and help me explain a little better. Feel free to leave any tambahans to what I have wrote jua. Correct me if ada salah.

Ok next will be what to look for in a wife.

Assalamualaikum and good night

Sunday 7 February 2010

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakattuh

Hello and hi kamu semua. I know ive promised balik2 to try and start updating again, tapi nada jua ada. Tapi this time is diffrent. Alhamdullillah I just finished a course about cari bini, kawin and life after. I hope to be able to share the knowledge with all of my friends and readers and insyallah we will all be blessed with a good family life now and in the hereafter. So this is just the initial post, getting everyone ready again and to try and get people to come back and start reading.

Insyallah ill start in a couple of days.

Assalamualaikum