Part 1 - Home Sweet Home

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh

First of all im going to start by trying to outline how im going to go about this. Reason it took me a while is because I cant really find out how I am going to do this most effectively.

The stuff that is taught may seem harsh, maybe to some a little old fashioned, but these are the teachings of the Al-Quran and Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Nowadays, sex and the like are all the rage. Divorce rates are sky high, unplanned pregnancies. All you have to do is look at the mall and realise that values have gone. Its because we think these teachings are old fashioned that we decide its ok to maybe leave out a few of the things which are vital to having a strong iman. A quote from one of my teachers in MD, times may change but religion will always be the same. Dont think that because we are getting more westernised we can just forget our religious values. ISLAM TEPAT ISLAM.

Ok so secondly, I want to thank the AlKauthar institute for organising a learning institution which is so refreshing in a time where we lose sight of what is really important in life.

Last but not least, a huge thanks to Sheikh Alaa Elsayed for an amazing lecture and talk. I thought I lost all motivation to study, but after the weekend I just realised ive just lost motivation to study law and other useless subjects. Its made me realise that there is still so much that I dont know about my religion and there is still so much I need to learn. A quote from Sheikh Alaa to start off

"The thing about knowledge is that the more you know, the more you realise you dont know"


Bah lets start. I apologize for any mistakes I may make in my conveying of the knowledge. May Allah forgive me for my mistakes and my sins and let me by sincere in trying to share what I have learned. Amin.


PART 1 - CHOOSING A SPOUSE/PARTNER/WIFE/HUSBAND

The 2 conditions in looking for a husband

Prophet Muhammad S.A.W advised us

"Choose carefully for your children. Marry the suitable and give in marriage to them."

1) Moral Conduct.

I think this is rather self explanatory. When a woman is choosing a partner, well banarnya husband, they should look for one who has moral conduct. One who is able to be sensitive and treat the woman with the respect she deserves whenever she needs. And we all know that women do need this, a guy who listens, a guy who is sensitive and a guy who shares his feelings. We dont need to look far for this, its always in the movies.

The prophet s.a.w also justifies this reasoning by saying that 'If one chooses a partner who does not possess moral conduct, they may not treat the woman with the sensitivity that she deserves'.

"Bad statements are for bad people [or bad women for bad men] ad bad people for bad statements [or bad men for bad women]. Good statements are for good people [or good women for good men] and good poeple for good statements [or good men for good women]. Such good people are innocent of every bad statement which they say. for them is forgiveness and Rizqun Karim (generous provisions. ie paradise) al-Noor 24:26


2) Religious Background

"The diffrence between the man and the state of disbelief and ascribing partners unto Allah is leaving the prayer" (narrated by Muslim)

Basically. Pick a husband who is alim and has faith. A good muslim.

Think about this, if a man forgets his duties towards Allah, do you think he is going to bother with his duties towards his wife. Maybe a month or two, but marriage is for the long run.


3) Other Factors

Appearance - Prophet Muhammad S.A.W recommends that a wife sees her husband first so that she can be content with his appearance.

Fertility- Well his ability to have children. Is this self explanatory? Im not sure.

Piety -1. reverence for God or devout fulfillment of religious obligations: a prayer full of piety.
2. the quality or state of being pious: saintly piety.
3. dutiful respect or regard for parents, homeland, etc.: filial piety.
4. a pious act, remark, belief, or the like: the pieties and sacrifices of an austere life.


Im not sure if this helps. This is going to be all for now as it is getting really really late. If you want to ask any questions please feel free and leave a comment. Maybe your comments will jog my memory into what Sheikh Alaa said and help me explain a little better. Feel free to leave any tambahans to what I have wrote jua. Correct me if ada salah.

Ok next will be what to look for in a wife.

Assalamualaikum and good night