Friday 31 July 2009



hinting kah tu?

Sunday 26 July 2009

Assalamualaikum to all my pembaca-ers

A recent tag has gotten me thinking. I think I am overly sensitive with the way I look and how this makes me come across to other people. When you openly admit you feel insecure over a certain attribute of yourself, you leave openings for people to come and make fun of you. Its all in good fun of course, mana siok kalau orang ani overly sensitive that they cant even take a joke kan. But I think the way I act around people has left me open in too many places. Ada tia jokes about tingginess, lampuhness, bulatness, past girlfriends, recent prospects tapi inda menjadi (this was months ago for those of you wondering)and tons and tons of diffrent things. Pokoknya, I think out of every single one of my groups of friends, and I have a couple, aku saja yang banyak kana make fun of ani. Im not complaining here even though it may sound like I am, this is just a realisation of how I act determines how other people treat me in return.

As a good muslim, you take everything that is directed at you and turn in into positive energy. Jangan marah, jangan balas balik and jangan merajuk. These are all negative things that doesnt bring any good to you as a person of a muslim. Ani yang I try my best to do everyday, even though the balas balik thing is something I probably lose out to the most. Tapi kan, if only I didnt go on and on about how short I am or how I need to lose weight, these kinds of things wouldnt be happening.

Allah created all of us and when we start complaining about height, weight and the like, it is like we are openly rejecting the gifts and blessings we have been granted by Allah. We are all special and all perfect in our own way and we have to realise this and be thankful.

And remember Allah always, not just when you are in times of need. Imagine you have a friend who only looks for you when they need something. Annoying berabis kan. Well its beribu juta times worse when we forget about Allah.

Haha beribu juta.

Ok atu saja. Assalamualaikum

Wednesday 22 July 2009

Assalamualaikum

So playing monster hunter almost the whole day kinda makes you feel useless after a while. I know its awesome and stuff, killing monsters, but i need to find other things which I can do while playing PSP so as to seem im not completely wasting my time. This ranges from jogging up and down the 19 stairs I have in my house, its a good way to stretch the muscles and keep oxygen pumping through my body. This though is kinda difficult when I am super concentrating on the game. I might miss a step and gugur. So I need to keep it fresh, keep the brain thinking and finding other things to do. Walking around in circles. Walking in the garden for fresh air. Tapi the best thing I have found in sitting down on my comfy chair in front of my laptop and let my shows play while im main game. Its not that difficult to watch something while playing game. I may not catch some key moments in whatever im watching but I get the gist of it. So far in the 2 weeks I have been back, 63 hours of Monster Hunter and 3 seasons of Burn Notice, WWE PPV yang latest, Chun Li the movie, Watchmen, Final Fantasy Advent Children and some other random things I have downloaded tapi inda pernah liat. So all in all, its been a good 2 weeks.

The most eye catching and attention grabbing movie I have watched though has to be Syurga Cinta. A malaysian movie about soulmates. It is much so in my top love movies ever. I dont know why these movies get to me though. Well I do know tapi im not saying because itll make me sound even more like a chump. Well anyway, Syurga Cinta is awesome. Some of the acting may be a little bit off, especially the opening 5 minutes when the main actor is talking English, baru balik dari UK and kan clubbing tarus. Something about the Malaysian accent which catches my funny bone. But the story line, predicatable tapi top notch. A religious love movie. I love it.

There was this one part, about soul mates. There are 3 types of 'jodohs'. 1 is jodoh dari Iblis. This is when we think we have found the one tapi its just the devils trick to make us fornicate and mess around with, sin lah basically. 2 is jodoh dari Jin. This is when one person is so obsessed with one person but the other person isnt, so black magic is used. The 3rd one is jodoh dari Allah. I forgot the speech that came with it tapi the title of the film was mentioned. It was awesome.

And I learned one thing from the movie. Even though getting married is what I think the next step in my life is, its going to happen when its going to happen. There is no point in obsessing over it and there is no point in looking too hard. I just firmly believe that I know what im looking for and insyallah I will have my eyes open when the opportunity arises. And hopefully I will be able to pursue that opportunity whilst being a good muslim. Insyallah.

Ok atu saja. kan pukul 2 sudah. Good night

Assalamualaikum

Monday 20 July 2009

Assalamualaikum.

My psp broke. Its actually my brothers psp. I have spent the whole day wondering around the house wondering what to do with myself. Its very depressing when I have the whole world just outside my door but instead I spend time sulking indoors. On the other hand though, playing monster hunter takes me into a whole diffrent world where I kill monsters. AHHHH IM ADDICTED!

Tomorrow I have been back in Brunei for exactly 2 weeks. Its been good. I have been going out while fitting in tons of time main game di rumah. Meeting up with old friends, main bola 2 kali, bukit shahbandar sekali, makan luar sama family. This is why I love being back home. There is just something very diffrent living in a foreign country and I dont think I could ever do it permanently. Something about being back home with family, having the freedom to roam around without having to take the bus and also paying 2 pounds for a daily bus pass. 5.50 ringgit tu bui. 7 hari, 38.50 ringgit. Kalau pakai kereta moderately inda sampai 20 ringgit seminggu. Well thats for me anyway. Ive been driving around for 2 weeks and 1 tank alum lagi abis. Suka ku Brunei ani ehh.

On my travels being out and about I have had a couple of deep conversations and learning how some of my more distant friends are now living their lives. Its depressing. The way some people live their lives so carefree, forgetting everything including religion. The way the simple things in life are taken for granted. The freedom we have in Brunei. The rezeki we have been blessed with. And this doesnt just come down to money food and drink. Most of us are lucky enough to be living very healthy lives.

While we enjoy these worldly pleasures, we forget about what we are actually meant to be doing with out lives. While we are busy going out chasing girls, kami lupakan sembahyang. While we are working our jobs kami lupakan sembahyang. Its not just lupakan sembahyang, every moment we take a breathe of air, that is another moment Allah has blessed us with life and we should be thankful by remembering Allah. Not only do we forget, we also do exactly what we have been told not to do. Get distracted by worldly pleasures. Im very much guilty of this as well, even though I hardly go out, main game is just as much a waste of time as spending hours in Gadong cari chicks. Instead of other things I could be doing which would actually benefit me spiritually, hunting monsters tepulang. I know this all to well and I understand just how hard it is to give up.

I guess this is the disadvantage we have of living in the modern world. We are surrounded by distractions. Understanding that religion doesnt change no matter how much the world advances is key. Just because people go out bedua-duaan (girl boy boy girl) doesnt mean we are now allowed to. Same goes for aurat. Same goes for everything. It is not now ok to do things just because the modern world suggests that it is ok. Religion is religion and Islam is Islam. What was Wajib and Haram in the past is still exactly the same now. The line between the two will never change no matter how much time passes. I guess this is the burden we have to live with while being thankful to Allah for making life easy for us. Make it harder to be a good muslim while being able to enjoy the joys of hunting virtual monsters.

It is all a test. We need to strive and better ourselves so we can call ourselves good muslims. We dont have forever. I can imagine that most of the people reading my blog are more or less the same age as I am. Cuba kamu imagine we are lucky enough to live until our 80s. That still gives us 60 years to repent for all the sins we have done. Kamu rasa cukup? It is never to late to change and ask for forgiveness from Allah, as long as we are still alive to do so.

Ok atu saja. Its 2am and im blabbing.

Assalamualaikum.

Tuesday 14 July 2009

Back Home

Assalamualaikum,

Im back in Brunei and have been back for almost a week. Im still having trouble staying awake after 8pm but even if I sleep I can still stay that way for a good 10-12 hours. Hancurzz. So I think I still have jetlag. Its only been 6 days so oklah. For those of you who are intrested, im here until October but sudah start Ramadhan, im pretty much going to be busy all the time. Sleeping and eating probably :S

The reason i havent updated for so long is because I havent had a proper internet connection for a while. Well thats kinda a lie. I left my house in kent on the 1st and stayed in London until the 7th. Got back to Brunei on the 8th and now its the 14th. So I have had chances to update and I have had stuff to talk about, its just again, by the time the clock hits 8pm, KO. The only reason im typing this little thing out is because I have a free 20 minutes before I go out for the first time since being back in Brunei. First time going out masa malam. I remember back when i was 18-19, trying my best to stay out until well after midnight. Nowadays, 23-24, kan sampai 10-11pm pun payah payah kan tahan.

There are a couple of ideas I have which may make intresting future posts but not today. I do want to take this opportunity to remind everyone that tomorrow in His Majesty's Birthday.

Ok atu saja.

Assalamualaikum