Monday, 15 February 2010

Part 2- Home Sweet Home

PART 1 - CHOOSING A SPOUSE/PARTNER/WIFE/HUSBAND (cont)

The 4 conditions in looking for a wife


Assalamualaikum warrahamatullahi wabarakattuh

So here is the 2nd part of the first part, If you get what I mean. Hopefully the first part went down well and I was able to convey the lessons I was taught properly. Hopefully I did it justice. I also thought of something else a while ago, I think at the end of part 1, I will try and give my thoughts on everything and try and explain stuff the way I think it should be explained. But that will come sooner, not yet, as there is still quite abit to talk about. Moving on.

The big picture. The Ummah. The people of Islam and the true believers. These are made of nations. Nations made of communities. Communities made of families. The core of the family, the woman. The woman is the mother, daughter, aunt and the wife. They are the heart of the family which is why is it very important to find the best woman you can so you can have a happy family. This is why, every female, every girl and woman needs to work on there faith. They need to improve themselves as a muslim as they hold the responsibility not only to look after their family, but also their husband. Lets say a husband and a wife has 4 children. This just means that she has 5 children to look after. Its simple maths.

The Prophet Muhammad S.A.W said that

"A woman is married for 4 reasons. Her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her Iman. So choose the one with good practice of iman, may your hands be rubbed in dust"

So we can see here the 4 things we look for when looking for a mate.. or rather a wife. I say things and not conditions because these arent conditions to find a good wife. There is only 1 thing needed for a good wife. This is iman.

A nice thing to keep in mind. A wife with iman, you have 1 point. A wife who is also beautiful, add a zero to that and you have a 10. A wife who also has good lineage, a good family, add another zero and you have 100. A rich wife on top of all of this, 1000. But take away the iman and all you have is 3 zeroes. Whats most important? Iman. Iman. Iman.

Another note. Imam Ahmed rahimahullah said

' If a man seeks to get married, then he should ask about her beauty first. If she is beautiful, then he should ask regarding her deen (iman). If she is praised for her deen, then he can proceed and marry her. If she is not praised for her practise of deen, then his rejecting her will be on the basis of religion. He should not ask first about her deen and then her beauty. This is because he will then be rejecting her based on her beauty, and not religion.'


Beauty - You can look for a beautiful wife. But dont build your married life on beauty alone. Remember, Iman.

Lineage - Coming for a good family. One with good ancestors. This isnt good being famous or anything. Coming from a family who is regarded to have been a religious family and good iman.

Pleasure - Allahs Messenger S.A.W said "life is a form of pleasure, ad the best form of pleasure in this life is a righteous woman"

Treasure - Allahs Messenger S.A.W said "Have I not told you about the best treasure that a person possesses? The righteous woman: if he looks at her, she pleases him. If he asks her, she answers him and if he travels, she protects her chastity."

Fertility - Allahs Messenger S.A.W said "Marry the fertile and loving; verily, i am going to be boasting about your abundance among other nations on Judgement Day." (This means the number of muslims on the day of judgement. Good muslims come from good families. Good families come from good mothers)

Virgin - Self explanatory. HAHAHA.


Ok so basically, choose a future wife who has good iman. Pokoknya alim lah. Its important because a husband with good iman and a wife with good iman, this is the best start to starting a happy family.

Ok so atu saja for now. Unfortunately im going to be going to manchester for the whole week. Not going to be able to update for around 5-6 days so dont bother checking for a while. Please comment and share your thoughts and knowledge. That will be awesome. Its also late so I havent had chance to proof read. Apologies for any mistakes that I probably have made.

A proper run through when im done with the whole part, with my views and thoughts. Any questions made on the comments will also be done i guess, if there is any. Bah.

Assalamualaikum Warrahmatullahi Wabarakattuh.

Saturday, 13 February 2010

Part 1 - Home Sweet Home

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh

First of all im going to start by trying to outline how im going to go about this. Reason it took me a while is because I cant really find out how I am going to do this most effectively.

The stuff that is taught may seem harsh, maybe to some a little old fashioned, but these are the teachings of the Al-Quran and Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. Nowadays, sex and the like are all the rage. Divorce rates are sky high, unplanned pregnancies. All you have to do is look at the mall and realise that values have gone. Its because we think these teachings are old fashioned that we decide its ok to maybe leave out a few of the things which are vital to having a strong iman. A quote from one of my teachers in MD, times may change but religion will always be the same. Dont think that because we are getting more westernised we can just forget our religious values. ISLAM TEPAT ISLAM.

Ok so secondly, I want to thank the AlKauthar institute for organising a learning institution which is so refreshing in a time where we lose sight of what is really important in life.

Last but not least, a huge thanks to Sheikh Alaa Elsayed for an amazing lecture and talk. I thought I lost all motivation to study, but after the weekend I just realised ive just lost motivation to study law and other useless subjects. Its made me realise that there is still so much that I dont know about my religion and there is still so much I need to learn. A quote from Sheikh Alaa to start off

"The thing about knowledge is that the more you know, the more you realise you dont know"


Bah lets start. I apologize for any mistakes I may make in my conveying of the knowledge. May Allah forgive me for my mistakes and my sins and let me by sincere in trying to share what I have learned. Amin.


PART 1 - CHOOSING A SPOUSE/PARTNER/WIFE/HUSBAND

The 2 conditions in looking for a husband

Prophet Muhammad S.A.W advised us

"Choose carefully for your children. Marry the suitable and give in marriage to them."

1) Moral Conduct.

I think this is rather self explanatory. When a woman is choosing a partner, well banarnya husband, they should look for one who has moral conduct. One who is able to be sensitive and treat the woman with the respect she deserves whenever she needs. And we all know that women do need this, a guy who listens, a guy who is sensitive and a guy who shares his feelings. We dont need to look far for this, its always in the movies.

The prophet s.a.w also justifies this reasoning by saying that 'If one chooses a partner who does not possess moral conduct, they may not treat the woman with the sensitivity that she deserves'.

"Bad statements are for bad people [or bad women for bad men] ad bad people for bad statements [or bad men for bad women]. Good statements are for good people [or good women for good men] and good poeple for good statements [or good men for good women]. Such good people are innocent of every bad statement which they say. for them is forgiveness and Rizqun Karim (generous provisions. ie paradise) al-Noor 24:26


2) Religious Background

"The diffrence between the man and the state of disbelief and ascribing partners unto Allah is leaving the prayer" (narrated by Muslim)

Basically. Pick a husband who is alim and has faith. A good muslim.

Think about this, if a man forgets his duties towards Allah, do you think he is going to bother with his duties towards his wife. Maybe a month or two, but marriage is for the long run.


3) Other Factors

Appearance - Prophet Muhammad S.A.W recommends that a wife sees her husband first so that she can be content with his appearance.

Fertility- Well his ability to have children. Is this self explanatory? Im not sure.

Piety -1. reverence for God or devout fulfillment of religious obligations: a prayer full of piety.
2. the quality or state of being pious: saintly piety.
3. dutiful respect or regard for parents, homeland, etc.: filial piety.
4. a pious act, remark, belief, or the like: the pieties and sacrifices of an austere life.


Im not sure if this helps. This is going to be all for now as it is getting really really late. If you want to ask any questions please feel free and leave a comment. Maybe your comments will jog my memory into what Sheikh Alaa said and help me explain a little better. Feel free to leave any tambahans to what I have wrote jua. Correct me if ada salah.

Ok next will be what to look for in a wife.

Assalamualaikum and good night

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakattuh

Hello and hi kamu semua. I know ive promised balik2 to try and start updating again, tapi nada jua ada. Tapi this time is diffrent. Alhamdullillah I just finished a course about cari bini, kawin and life after. I hope to be able to share the knowledge with all of my friends and readers and insyallah we will all be blessed with a good family life now and in the hereafter. So this is just the initial post, getting everyone ready again and to try and get people to come back and start reading.

Insyallah ill start in a couple of days.

Assalamualaikum

Monday, 28 December 2009

An Awesome Article by Huma Ahmad

I found this article really good. A nice reminder to all of us



Freedom.


Young people live for the day when they can move out of the house and go to college and finally be free. Freedom from their parents, from restrictions on their lifestyle, from everyone telling them what to do.

This is why in college you find a whole generation that does what they want. Life's short they say, let's enjoy ourselves while we can.

So it goes for Muslims. In college you find the most amazing things, Muslims who don't pray, Muslims who date , go out to parties and drink.




Why is this happening?


For one, when students go off to university they finally realize that what they believed in was blind. Religion becomes like a fairytale, when they got old enough, they knew better than to believe in it.

Most have little knowledge about Islam and have maybe memorized the right rituals to get by. Why believe something on faith, they ask. After all we cannot see heaven or hell. How do we know Islam is right anyway?

Islamic culture to them means marrying someone they never knew. It means arranged marriages and never hanging out or having fun.

For girls Islamic culture has even less to offer. It would mean double standards or having to serve a husband the rest of her life.

The western alternative to this looks alot more attractive.

In western culture "love and romance" are supposedly everywhere. Everyone is out looking for love freely. Meeting someone, going out, seeking pleasure sounds alot better.

But what about the downside? For love at first sight, you need to have the right image, the right hair, the right clothes.

Girls have to aspire to be like the latest supermodels, they have to hold back age. Who's going out with who, what are my friends thinking, what will happen if I don't get the right girl or guy, what is my girlfriend or boyfriend thinking, all become important.

Frustration, desperation, and unhappiness become the norm.

Imagine all the heartache youth would save if they followed the Islamic alternative.

In true Islam, unlike culture, there is no game playing. If two people wish to be involved they are both straight with one another.

Unlike what goes on today amongst some Muslims, they both meet each other and make a contract to marry. Women are treated with respect, there is no sexual bombardment like there is in western society. Sex in western culture is also often seen as a vice or a sin of the flesh. But even in religious Islam, sex is seen as natural. As long as it is in the right circumstances, when the two are committed to one another in marriage.

Drinking in college is also the norm unfortunately. If you don't drink or party you're seen as weird. Drinking is cool and a way for people to socialize, meet and have fun. The one who doesn't is less of a person and 'misses out'. Drinking and all the harms that come with it is cut off at the root in Islam. So many problems are avoided, accidents, pregnancy, violence and even rape for example.

In college and in the world, success in life is not seen in terms of religion. It is seen as what other people think, one's careers, how much money they make. If you are religious you must have failed at life. But why do we have this seperation? and this blindness in religion?

The Quran tells us again and again not to have blind faith, not to follow the religion of our forefathers.

Yet, we as Muslims have stopped thinking. We may think about what our friends or other people will say, but we avoid thinking about the real issues.

We spend so much time on the opposite sex, thinking about careers, money etc, but we forget to think about death and how much of this we will really be able to take with us?

"Every soul shall have a taste of death and only on the Day of Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense...for the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception"
(Quran 3:185)


Shouldn't we take the time to contemplate what will happen to us after we hit the grave? After all, what is the point of life if we are not accountable for our actions? If there is no creator, what is the point of being honest or good.

If we really look at our life we see that everything is indefinate, getting a job, even living until tomorrow. In fact we could die anytime, this is a definate, the _only_ dead certain thing in our life.

Most of us believe we can make up for our actions later or we can be religious later.

We are gambling.

The chances of our dying today are little, but the stakes are high. Allah reminds us of the importance of this,

"O you who believe, obey Allah as he should be obeyed, and die not except in a state of Islam" (Qu'ran 3:102)


Each of us needs to decide.

On the Day of Judgment it will be us alone who will be asked about our actions.

"Verily We have revealed the Book to thee in truth, for (instructing) mankind. He, then that receives guidance benefits his own soul: but he that strays injurs his own soul..."
(Quran 39:41)


This is the true definition of freedom. To learn about Islam and the world openly. To contemplate about life and death. And after learning the truth, obeying the word of God.

"Those on whom knowledge has been bestowed may learn that the (Quran) is the truth from your Lord, and that they believe therein, and their hearts may be made humbly (open)to it..."
(Quran 22:54)


Once students have this rock-solid intellectual belief in Islam, the corruptness and falseness of the people around them is clear. The beauty and wisdom of the islamic way, the best alternative is clear. What others do is of less importance. If others think they were weird to pray or weird to be honest, they would still pray and still be honest because they know their deen.

Our Quran's are left on the top shelves, gathering dust. Sometimes the most it is read is when someone dies. How is this to help, when the guidance comes too late. The Quran is for the living. The path to understanding and following Islam comes from learning first.

How many of us are Muslim, yet have never read the Quran in our native language?

How many of us are Muslim, yet have yet to open a book on hadith or sunnah?

How many of us defend Islam to non-Muslims, but do not follow it ourselves?

May Allah forgive and lead us and all those lost to the straight path.

InshaAllah.

Ameen.

By Huma Ahmad
based on a talk by Abdul Wajid "Born to be Brown", UK

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Assalamualaikum warrahmattullahi wabarrahkattuh

I promise to start updating soon. Its been killer with all these assignments flying in from every direction. Kan main game lagi cana. Ive been taking 3rd year abit more seriously than the previous 2. Inda skip class, doing my reading, blajar, buat essays, main game sedikit saja, so its been a tough 2 months. Application bar lagi kan di pikirkan.

Well im going back to brunei next next monday 14 dec.

Instead to make up for the lack of posts and boringness and lameness of this blog...



Id watch it if i were u. hahahahaha. apologies for the language. Its all for the memories.

Ok then. Salam

Saturday, 7 November 2009

Im a mac

A couple of days after my last post, my pc died. For some reason the screen didnt want to turn on. So I sent it to curries to get it fixed. Up to 29 days for me to get the laptop back. Gila! Kan buat kraja uni cana. So I weighed my options and finally decided to go for what countless other people have already discovered. Bali Mac. Love Mac. I went to London a couple of days later for the 15% discount. In kent 6% saja. I left London with a brand new 13 inch 2.26 Ghz Macbook Pro. 15 inch was 450 pounds more expensive unfortunately. I got home and carefully opened the plastic bag it was in. I know that sounds ridiculous, carefully opening a plastic bag. But apples plastic bags are more like bags which u bring ur football boots around in. Lawa lah. On my lap was the sleek looking box. Aku buka carefully. Inside the box ada laptop, charger, a piece of paper and a CD. Compared to all PC's, it was simple and a joy to buka. Mac had me before it even had a chance to say hello, which it did when i turned it on for the first time.

So pokoknya, bali mac. When ur pc is failing u, bali mac. My newest pc, yang baru baru rosak, after countless hours researching the best laptop to buy and finally deciding on a HP, it only lasted me 10 MONTHS!!!

I picked it up from curries yesterday. Turned it on. Macam aku balum lagi antar ke kadai wah. Exactly the same problem, inda mau on. You wonder bahapa dorang with my laptop for 2 weeks, pakai as a stand for their MACS kali.

The only thing im not puas hati with dengan mac is nada SOPCAST. Inda dapat stream football. There is a way, but all the crossover applications and install this and that makes me not want to bother.

Ok abis tia my explanation for not updating even though i promised too. Expect normal service to return soon, kalau aku inda malas. While kamu menunggu, why dont u watch this.



Assalamualaikum warrahmattullahi wabarahkattuh

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Hi guys. Its been close to 2 months now since i last updated tapi ive had good reason. First month was bulan Ramadhan and I never really found time to be able to update my blog. And its not like I had alot to talk about anyway. My whole holiday in Brunei, again, was very uneventful just like last year. And I got back ke canterbury a couple of weeks ago, missing the first week of lectures so I have had lots of catching up to do. Ive decided to take things seriously this year, and I know I say that almost all the time tapi kali ani banar aku inda eksen.

To those who care, a couple of days ago was my last day as vice president of MBSOC. Malaysian Bruneain Society. Sayangnya this year macam inda brapa laku. 1st years just dont seem intrested. But since I havce an emotional connection to the society, as I have it to thank for many good memories for the past 2 years, ive decided to help out in a lesser role. Ehseh, si tahi aku ani eh.

Personal life, well as I said previously, sibuk ku with work and I havent had internet. Internet ani pun ku curi dari bruneian neighbours yang baik berabis. I guess work should come first masa ani anyway. Well second to football. I have class tomorrow tapi inda buat kraja pasal the champions league show is on.

Bah expect more normal updates soon. Ive been reading this book which has inspired me to take my faith to another level. Well try anyway. Insyallah.

Ok then. Thanks to those who have tagged, sorry nada bereply. Much appreciated nonetheless.

Assalamualaikum